An unsettled feeling twisted my stomach, disturbing my sleep.

Forget sleep.

Was it the left-over vegetable casserole that had sat out in the car for awhile after the Sunday potluck? The afternoon had been in the frosty low thirties. Still.

Tattered sleep was my lot for the rest of that night. And the week. By the second day chills, fever, achy bones, and skin that crawled at a mere touch had me captive. Lots of tea, a decent book and short bursts of knitting has been the order of the week.

A slight burning has settled deep in my chest and a hammer clangs my head when I cough, otherwise I think the fever is about gone, the achy pains are dimming and I’m on the mend. For a short while this morning I even contemplated a small walk outside. Until I brought in an armload of fire wood and knew I oughtn’t push it.

Firewood. It’s a bit of a sore spot with me these past days. Thursday, while Ed was helping our son’s family pack up their house getting ready for today’s big move, I realized the wood box was completely empty, as was the bigger box by the back door. Six trips, arms stacked high, back and forth from the wood shed up the steps to the big wood box then a seventh armload for the inside box. I felt like a huge whimp. Ed keeps his shop wood supply and fire going, I’m responsible for the house wood and fire. Except for the initial hauling, splitting and stacking – those tend to be family occasions. moving-woodUsually I don’t mind. But not once this week did it occur to him that I would appreciate the help. (I must try to remember: Ed wasn’t gifted with the ability to read my mind.) I should have asked Ed, he would have done it without a murmur. But I wanted him to notice, to take care of me. Pride, hmphf. I hated to ask, he’s been so crazy busy with the enormous work load lately and then his willingness to spend all Thursday, and again this afternoon, helping the kids with the move. I was supposed to babysit the grands this weekend. Big sob! Fortunately the weather has been quite mild and relatively pleasant.

(I look at that picture and wonder why in the world it has never occurred to me to use that cart to bring the wood to the back porch!)

Ed is a non-demonstratively compassionate person. His understated sensitively was one of the first things that drew me to him. But he doesn’t do sick. Maybe it was growing up with a dad who whimpers at a hangnail or a paper cut. His dad expected to be waited on hand and foot when he was sick. More likely it was growing up with a younger brother who lived very stoically with cystic fibrosis for thirty-three years. At that time he’d was the longest surviving CF person on record. Many times he was so desperately sick he had to be hospitalized to stay alive. Despite a terrible disease Dan lived his life as well as he possibly could. He never used his CF as an excuse not to do things. He did not complain, and he hated a fuss to be made over him.

After thirty years of marriage I know better than to expect sympathy when I’m sick. And I don’t mean to complain. All right, yes, I am complaining. There are times that a lack of pampering when I’m really feeling rotten is the undoing of my emotions.

Expectations. We all have them. They are the cause of huge disappointments and let-downs.

They can also be a joyous spot in our lives.

Christmas is in twenty-five days! This is project that I spun the yarn for which I wrote about in the previous post. In spite of overspinning the yarn I’m very pleased with how the bag turned out. I’m particularly tickled by the extra circle of white I snuck onto the bottom. Kind of like a small secret.

Knitted bag ready to toss into the washing machine. unfelted-bag1

Bag felted and dried. felted-bag
Pattern: The Purse by KnitKit
Needles: Jenkins US9 16″ circs, US9 dpn
Yarn: Dark – 4oz, 204 yds Handspun Merino wool hand-dyed by Crafty in a Good Way, White – 1 – oz, 44yds, Handspun Icelandic wool

I didn’t have a long enough length of merino yarn left to make a solid colored cord and I’m not crazy about the white in it. I do have some of the merino wool so I might spin up another 3 – 4yds. l need to add a couple of buttons to the cords and if you click on the link you’ll see I used my yarn differently. I’d intended to use the white in the middle as in the pattern but after doing the first two rows of white knew there wouldn’t be enough. As it was I ended up with only enough to make the cord.

It was definitely a fun project and I plan to make some more but not likely for Christmas this year.

Began spinning: Nov 3rd
Started Knitting: Nov 6th
Finished, felted and dried: Nov 19th

I hope it meets Aurora’s expectations. 😉


Author: Wanda J

I never dreamed my life would be entangled with fiber and the tools used to produce fibery items. When I bought a boat shuttle used in weaving Ed looked at it, decided to make a better one and the rest is history. For a decade he made shuttles, crochet hooks, knitting needles, until his spindles became so popular that he had to devote his time to making them, as well as Walking Wheels. Free time is spent reading, trying to coax food from the ground, and playing in the creek near our place. I love long walks and camping far from crowds. Playing a fiddle beside a stream or with good friends brings sweetness to my soul. Sundays are set aside for worshiping God with our small Quaker meeting.

13 thoughts on “Expectations”

  1. Oh Wanda, I hope you are feeling better by now.

    I so understand having to “do” chores and such when you don’t feel up to anything…

    I also understand the “undoing of my emotions” part.

    Too bad we don’t live closer…I’d tell you to sit and sip tea while I tote the wood for you.
    No one shuld haul wood when they are getting over the flu! It’s just not fair!

    The bag is beautiful…it should surpass expectations 😉

  2. So sorry you’ve been sick for such a big week! Hope you are feeling better now.

    I know what you mean about dh’s not thinking through the chores when you’re sick. Mine is the same….grew up on a dairy farm where the chores did not wait for anything. (We got married at 2PM so his parents could get the morning and evening milking done!)

    Let me know when your fiber package arrives.

  3. Oh mercy. Everything Cyndy wrote. Everything.
    Most definitely I wish I lived closer or hey, where ARE our teleporters when we need them! I would’ve pampered you and taken care of your chores also. Being able to rest and not worry about anything is so important when fighting off a virus/flu.
    Bobby doesn’t do sick either. I honestly believe he doesn’t believe me when I tell him I’m sick or just how sick I’m feeling when I’m sick.
    You put it so well re: expectations.

    The bag is GORgeous! The colours beautiful, your placement of said colours spot on. I’m really in awe that you used handspun to FELT! I’ve given it some thought but gosh, handspun yarn, the yardage is so precious still.
    I rather like the ties having the white in them. :^)

    I checked out the link to the bags, wow, there are some fabulous bags there, thaks!

    Feel better soon, XOXOX

  4. Sorry you’ve been unwell, I’m a bit like Ed, I don’t do sick very well either! Love the bag, i kind of like the little bit of white in the cord, but you need to get it the way you want it!

  5. We’ve been sick with colds here in Willow’s Cottage, too. I hope you’re feeling better now. The Professor likes to be left alone when he’s sick, I like pampering. When we remember our preferences, we try to accomodate, but we don’t always ‘remember’.

    The bag is wonderful! I made a felted bag recently, but my washer is a front loader and it just doesn’t seem to do the best felting. Any ideas for me on that?

  6. Sorry to hear you’ve been sick. I pride myself on being immune to a lot of germs, having spent so much time with children. I think I’ve had pretty well every microbe you could imagine, coughed or sneezed in my direction. My hubby is pretty good when I’m under the weather. He makes me hot tea and soup. My mom gave me some advice once about how to keep the sympathy flowing. She said, “When you’re sick, and you want your family to be aware of how rotten you feel, DO NOT GET DRESSED. Stay in your pj’s and housecoat all day.” She was right, it works. I love the felted bag. The colours are gorgeous.

  7. Oh, honey! Don’t you just hate those days when you’re sick and everything seems to just NOT be working with you?? But you know, sometimes complaining is good therapy and lets you get it out of your system. That’s actually worthwhile, believe it or not. But it *does* help to have someone else in the area, and I’m with the rest of the gals. We seriously need to get those Harry Potter portals or teleporters working!

    HUGE Hugs!

    PS–and if she doesn’t like the bag, you can send it to me. 😉

  8. I do hope you are feeling better now and that your woodpile is big. Sorry your man doesn’t notice you’re sick, but he does make the most fantastic spindles! I love the bag so much, you are so clever!

  9. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been sick! And such a miserable sickness, too; fevers and tummy trouble is no fun at all. I know what you mean about sometimes just really wanting that unasked for care and sympathy; when you’re feeling down, there’s nothing like it.

    The bag is gorgeous! I love those colors, and the fact that it comes from your hands, start to finish, just makes it that much better. You’ve inspired me to think about using my handspun for felting projects…

  10. I’m late in the game…we’ve been out of town, but I do hope by now you’re feeling better! I often think I ought to have a “sick bag” in place for when I get sick; that way everything I might want/need is right there, and I don’t have to depend on the rather clueless family members. Of course, I almost never get sick, and when I do, well, I’m a Mom. ‘Nuff said.
    The beautiful needles arrived safely, along with the goodies. Thank you so much; I cannot *wait* to use such wonderfully pointy needles!!

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