An unsettled feeling twisted my stomach, disturbing my sleep.
Forget sleep.
Was it the left-over vegetable casserole that had sat out in the car for awhile after the Sunday potluck? The afternoon had been in the frosty low thirties. Still.
Tattered sleep was my lot for the rest of that night. And the week. By the second day chills, fever, achy bones, and skin that crawled at a mere touch had me captive. Lots of tea, a decent book and short bursts of knitting has been the order of the week.
A slight burning has settled deep in my chest and a hammer clangs my head when I cough, otherwise I think the fever is about gone, the achy pains are dimming and I’m on the mend. For a short while this morning I even contemplated a small walk outside. Until I brought in an armload of fire wood and knew I oughtn’t push it.
Firewood. It’s a bit of a sore spot with me these past days. Thursday, while Ed was helping our son’s family pack up their house getting ready for today’s big move, I realized the wood box was completely empty, as was the bigger box by the back door. Six trips, arms stacked high, back and forth from the wood shed up the steps to the big wood box then a seventh armload for the inside box. I felt like a huge whimp. Ed keeps his shop wood supply and fire going, I’m responsible for the house wood and fire. Except for the initial hauling, splitting and stacking – those tend to be family occasions. 
Usually I don’t mind. But not once this week did it occur to him that I would appreciate the help. (I must try to remember: Ed wasn’t gifted with the ability to read my mind.) I should have asked Ed, he would have done it without a murmur. But I wanted him to notice, to take care of me. Pride, hmphf. I hated to ask, he’s been so crazy busy with the enormous work load lately and then his willingness to spend all Thursday, and again this afternoon, helping the kids with the move. I was supposed to babysit the grands this weekend. Big sob! Fortunately the weather has been quite mild and relatively pleasant.
(I look at that picture and wonder why in the world it has never occurred to me to use that cart to bring the wood to the back porch!)
Ed is a non-demonstratively compassionate person. His understated sensitively was one of the first things that drew me to him. But he doesn’t do sick. Maybe it was growing up with a dad who whimpers at a hangnail or a paper cut. His dad expected to be waited on hand and foot when he was sick. More likely it was growing up with a younger brother who lived very stoically with cystic fibrosis for thirty-three years. At that time he’d was the longest surviving CF person on record. Many times he was so desperately sick he had to be hospitalized to stay alive. Despite a terrible disease Dan lived his life as well as he possibly could. He never used his CF as an excuse not to do things. He did not complain, and he hated a fuss to be made over him.
After thirty years of marriage I know better than to expect sympathy when I’m sick. And I don’t mean to complain. All right, yes, I am complaining. There are times that a lack of pampering when I’m really feeling rotten is the undoing of my emotions.
Expectations. We all have them. They are the cause of huge disappointments and let-downs.
They can also be a joyous spot in our lives.
Christmas is in twenty-five days! This is project that I spun the yarn for which I wrote about in the previous post. In spite of overspinning the yarn I’m very pleased with how the bag turned out. I’m particularly tickled by the extra circle of white I snuck onto the bottom. Kind of like a small secret.
Knitted bag ready to toss into the washing machine. 
Bag felted and dried. 
Pattern: The Purse by KnitKit
Needles: Jenkins US9 16″ circs, US9 dpn
Yarn: Dark – 4oz, 204 yds Handspun Merino wool hand-dyed by Crafty in a Good Way, White – 1 – oz, 44yds, Handspun Icelandic wool
I didn’t have a long enough length of merino yarn left to make a solid colored cord and I’m not crazy about the white in it. I do have some of the merino wool so I might spin up another 3 – 4yds. l need to add a couple of buttons to the cords and if you click on the link you’ll see I used my yarn differently. I’d intended to use the white in the middle as in the pattern but after doing the first two rows of white knew there wouldn’t be enough. As it was I ended up with only enough to make the cord.
It was definitely a fun project and I plan to make some more but not likely for Christmas this year.
Began spinning: Nov 3rd
Started Knitting: Nov 6th
Finished, felted and dried: Nov 19th
I hope it meets Aurora’s expectations. 
